How We Proved that NIGHT is One Fcking Desirable Pillow!

by Kalle Simpson March 10, 2016

How We Proved that NIGHT is One Fcking Desirable Pillow!

We already knew that the NIGHT pillow is super desirable, but we've been told even obvious claims should have internal tests to verify. So, where do you go when you want to know how a large group of people feel about sleeping with you? Tinder of course!

Step 1:

Pinocchio the NIGHT pillow: Unfortunately, Tinder doesn't allow products to participate, just people… which is total fcking discrimination, but whateve.. So, what’s Tinder’s qualifier for being a human? A verified facebook account duh! And, we don’t mean your business page. So, we set the NIGHT pillow up with their very own human page…(seen here)..And, because facebook’s name verification process was no joke…the NIGHT pillow picked up an alias: "Sleep" "withBenefits"

First Name: Sleep
Last Name: withBenefits
Age: 28
Location: NYC
Sex: Female

Step 2: 

The NIGHT pillow joins Tinder:  Now that we were technically a human by Tinder’s standards, it was time to put the NIGHT pillow out there to the masses.

Step 3: Tinder the day away:

Finally, our experiment was ready to be implemented. So, we spent the next 6 months collecting data and combating regular expulsion from Tinder (righteous a$$holes)....Here's what we learned:

The NIGHT pillow is LOVED at first sight....NIGHT crushed it on Tinder by matching with 82% of male candidates. No real surprise there. NIGHT is one sexy pillow. That shiny, sleek, silky black pillowcase with the tonal border design. That perfectly symmetrical size and shape. It looks as good as it feels. So, by our data, it seems the key to getting a man’s interest in NYC is looking good and a blatant willingness to jump in bed.
tinder matches

It's not just about good looks...Obviously, the NIGHT pillow looks good, but there was also a lot of shared commonality. Many of NIGHT's matches shared favorite past times like spending time in bed and sleeping with as many people as possible.
tinder conversations

Eager Beavers...Turns out that not only was the NIGHT pillow wanted in every way, it was wanted right away. NIGHT isn't scared to quickly jump into bed with people, but without a shopping cart application on Tinder--these boys were out-of-luck....
more tinder conversations

Kalle Simpson
Kalle Simpson


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